Proud to Knit...Except When Not

Good afternoon frieknds! It's a gorgeous day on Chappaquiddick and I figured I'd take a break from studying NY-MA legal distinctions in the sun to talk about something that happened last night. As background, the Knitting Gal and I have been "on island" on Chappy for the summer doing our studying for our upcoming bar exams. We've been alone for most of the summer, but her family came to down for the past few days. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I have a particularly good relationship with her father, a fellow member of the legal profession and, more importantly, devout Sox fan. At first, when they arrived, I was hesitant/unwilling to take out my project for fear of being made the subject of fun, even if good-natured. I thought I had overcome my shyness, also alluded to in a prior post, when I didn't rush to hide my needles when they came back one evening.

Last night, the Knitting Gal and I were enjoying a rare few hours alone, each working on our projects. Just as I finished a row, her parents came back home. Time for the moment of truth. I told myself i was putting the project down to talk with them about their anniversary dinner and be generally sociable. We settled back in to watch the Sox lose a frustrating heart breaker, at which point the Knitting Gal asked why I wasn't working on my blanket. "I finished a row and I'm taking a break," I replied defensively. Taking a break meant not picking up the needles again all night. Basically, I lost a few hours of progress out of embarrassment, even as I tried to convince myself I was choosing not to knit.

So, the big question then is, why are we, we being men, so afraid to knit in public? I challenge you to find a man on a subway or bus knitting, whereas women seem to have no problem with it. I imagine it's a great way to avoid dealing with other commuters and a nice way to escape the world for a while. At the same time, I doubt I'll ever find out for myself. Part of the answer to the overriding question is that, yes, we're afraid of what others might think. In our society, it is essentially criminal to be un-masculine, despite role models such as Ryan Seacrest. Despite knitting's proud heritage of rugged men knitting fishing nets, it is now viewed as a distinctly feminine pursuit and conjures a certain image in one's mind.

If that's the easy answer, what's the more difficult-to-pinpoint answer? For me, it's that it's simply easier not to knit in front of people that I feel might judge me for it. I won't pretend that I'm one of those "I don't give a damn what you people think" kind of guys, but neither do I live and breathe by what others think of me. When it comes down to it, I'm just as happy to put down my project in favor of simply watching the game, or reading my book on the subway, and picking it up again when I feel more comfortable. Sure I lose some time, but I've also avoided injecting anxiety, whether or not warranted, into a hobby that is supposed to be relaxing and stress-free. Would my blanket be done faster if I didn't take these breaks? Probably. But would I enjoy the process as much? I'd tend to think not. But maybe I just haven't given it a proper shot.

I'll probably come back to this issue at a later point to think about it in more depth, but I wanted to relate my feelings as a result of last night specifically. Maybe the lesson to be learned is that I need to give others more of a chance to not live up to the negative reactions I anticipate. Perhaps that, in and of itself, is the first, and most important, step toward public knitting without anxiety.