Share and Share Alike

Hopefully this post gets read in time to make a difference for all you ladies out there who have been trying diligently to get your man to knit, because tonight is a perfect night for it to happen. Why tonight? Because tonight is the Major League Baseball All-Star Game, featuring not 1, not 3, not even 5, but 6 Red Sox. I've no doubt that if I listened closely enough, I could hear your groans from here (even Knitting Gal can sense something in the air). I don't mean to imply that women as a whole are uninterested in the All-Star Game, however, I think it's reasonable to say that a fair amount of you could really care less, even if you are baseball fans. All this is by way of saying that there may be an inevitable clash of control over the remote tonight. How does this figure into getting your man to knit? I think it's the perfect opportunity to attempt a little quid pro quo.

Here's the deal, you get from 7:30 p.m. EST to 8:00 p.m. EST to teach him the knit stitch, nothing more, nothing less. In return, he gets to watch the game, no complaints. But there's a catch, he has to make an effort during commercials to continue what he started, even if he puts it back down when the "action" starts up again. I make no claims for this working, but it seems like a good idea in principle so I'd be curious to see if it works for any of you.

At the risk of sounding presumptuous, I'd like to share what I think is the secret to sharing your hobby with your hubby: make sure he knows it is just that, "sharing." When the Knitting Gal first tried to get me to knit, I thought she was foisting something on me that I gave no indications I was interested in. Maybe you get the same feeling when your man talks about power tools (something I know nothing about), or tries to explain what a nickel package is in football (something I only know of from playing Madden football). Again, I don't mean to perpetuate stereotypes, but it's probably right more often than not. It's easy for both sides to take the other's efforts in the wrong way. Maybe we assume he or she is simply hoping for, at best, a nod and a grin as we indulge their need to talk about their passions.

On the contrary, I think we all want to share our enthusiasm for what gets us going, in the hopes that we can share these things with the people we love. We hope that if we display enough excitement, maybe we can rouse those same feelings in others. We don't do so out of a selfish desire to convert one more person, but to expand their worlds to include what we think they'll appreciate if they gave it a shot.

To get back to knitting, it's clear that if you're reading this then you are probably somewhat passionate about your craft. Your man may know this to some extent, but does he know why you love it? What visceral emotions it evokes in you? If you share these feelings with him, he may see that not only can he share these benefits, but he can better understand who you are and what moves you. By the same token, you may both discover that your passions produce the same base emotions, but in different ways. For example, many men have a strong connection with baseball because of weekends spent playing catch with their fathers (or mother as in my case). Learn to knit from your mother? There's your connection. If he even tries his hand at knitting, and you give him half an hour in the yard with a ball and glove, you've now shared pieces of your childhoods in a very meaningful way. Maybe he'll find that he likes the way you can see your progress before your very eyes. Maybe you'll find you like the sound of the ball smacking into leather (there's nothing like it). Either way, by the end of the experience you'll know a little more about your significant other.

In the end, my point is that we have a lot to gain by breaking down the compartments of our relationships, and hobbies are a great place to start. As soon as I could see past "her wanting me to take up her hobby" and see it as "her wanting to share her passion with me," I opened up to the experience. You may find that you need to take the initiative and show him the way, maybe by asking questions about what he enjoys, hoping for him to follow your lead and return the favor.

I have a feeling this was a somewhat rambling post, but I hope it helps in some small way. I'd love to hear your stories! Good luck!